{"id":1099,"date":"2020-04-24T16:27:23","date_gmt":"2020-04-24T16:27:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.thetalkshop.in\/?page_id=1099"},"modified":"2022-09-09T07:30:39","modified_gmt":"2022-09-09T07:30:39","slug":"coach","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.thetalkshop.in\/coach\/","title":{"rendered":"A Personal Coach"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When you just need someone to talk to<\/em>…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mathai Baker Fenn PhD – IIT Bombay<\/a><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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40 years since I started my journey in Psychology, I have earned a PhD from one of India’s well-known colleges and decades of experience teaching and practising psychology across India and abroad. As a coach, my approach integrates insights from Indian Spirituality, Cognitive, Existential and Gestalt Psychology to re-examine how we live our lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Being born in a family of practising Christians in a predominantly Hindu country has given me a unique perspective on the spiritual journey we must all make through this life. If you would just like to talk to someone about spirituality, psychology, philosophy or life in general, do drop me a line (mathai@thetalkshop.in<\/a>).<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

https:\/\/mathai.fenn.net<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

@ $50 (USD) an hour, you choose how confidential you want it to be.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sign up for a no obligation free exploratory session.<\/em> > Click Here<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Work or life? Is there a difference these days?<\/em><\/strong><\/h1>\n\n\n
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Shrankla Narya<\/a> (2011), presented this to me after I taught her at IIT Gandhingar<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n

It’s not always enough to read a book or to join a class. Sometimes you need someone to talk to, someone who will listen to you and who takes a personal interest in you. This is especially true when you feel everyone else around you have already picked a side or have strong opinions of their own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The world of business has long recognized that a coach can be very useful if you want to know more, perhaps a good place to start is this (HBR 2019 article)<\/a>. A coach is committed to trying to understand you and your way of looking at things, rather than suggest quick fixes, so the coaching engagement may take a bit of time before you hit the sweet spot and you begin to see the benefits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How is coaching different from therapy? (What to expect)<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
  1. Every relationship is different. I find some clients expect a structured approach so that they know exactly where they are and where it’s all going at any time. Others prefer a more unstructured approach that helps them discuss whatever is uppermost in their mind. I do both. Both work, but in my approach, the unstructured has a deeper impact although it requires a bit more maturity from the client. We will discuss how much structure you need before we start. We will discuss how much structure you need in the first session, beyond that you have the right to stop at any point and ask ” I am confused, where is all this going?<\/em><\/strong>” and it is my responsibility to answer that.<\/li>
  2. Counselling is often offered to people who have problems functioning in normal society, while even top performers can benefit from a coach.<\/li>
  3. A counsellor will listen to your problem and try to help you overcome your problem. The coach, on the other hand, challenges you to be more than you are.<\/li>
  4. Carl Rogers describes counselling as a client-centred and non-directive approach (read about his approach on Psychology Today by clicking here<\/a>). This means it is the client who sets the agenda. In coaching, your coach may have a program that can help you achieve your objectives. <\/li>
  5. CAVEAT<\/strong>: I am not bound by the strict codes prescribed by professional bodies. Our conversations do not constitute therapy. Conversations are just conversations, but sometimes that’s exactly what you need…<\/li>
  6. Sessions<\/strong> are scheduled in advance for blocks of one hour. A one-on-one session this season costs $50 per hour<\/strong>. We can talk on Whatsapp, Telegram, Zoom or Google Meet. <\/li>
  7. . Once we have had a preliminary conversation (which is free), you can buy a block by paying for four sessions (for a month) by paying $200\/- This helps by reserving a weekly slot. To reserve slots, email me at mathai@thetalkshop.in<\/a>. There is no refund for missed sessions<\/strong>. This is to discourage cancellations without a significant reason. <\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    How do you choose a good coach? Am I right for you?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Most people find a good coach through a reference from somebody they know. For others, this is not always an option. Sometimes well-intentioned coaches can do harm (HBR 2002<\/a>). Of course, like a doctor who works with patients, there is no way we can guarantee the outcome, but having the right background helps. My own journey goes deeper than just Psychology. My PhD explored psychology and philosophy. My interest in personal growth is invariably linked to Spirituality both in the eastern and western traditions. So we could discuss that too if you ever wonder about the larger picture.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I am primarily a Cognitive Psychologist, and although I have not worked professionally as a Clinical Psychologist, helping people achieve their potential has always been my real passion. In 1995, my friend Shobha Prasad (LinkedIn Profile<\/a>) suggested: “Mathai it seems to me that your real passion is in helping people, why don’t you build a career from that?” She was right, but I found the medical model <\/a>very restrictive, so despite a keen interest in Psychology and a PhD, I chose not to work in the clinical setting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Although my Psychology background helps me understand personal issues, decades of experience teaching management helps me understand work contexts too. It’s not all academic knowledge either. Having had varied experiences of my own, including as an entrepreneur, helps me to understand life and work situations, too. For a more detailed description of me, click here<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    My Approach<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    While it is not necessary that you understand everything about my approach, it does help if we both have a basic agreement on the way forward. I believe that we make mental models of the world around us. These models are necessary simplifications that allow us to break down the complexity of the world to enable us to successfully adapt and live in the world. However, sometimes our mental model becomes rigid (locked) and no longer reflects the present reality we live in. Sometimes a significant event or experience may create an unrealistically biased model. In such cases, it becomes necessary to disassemble it and allow new ones to emerge. Because we can become emotionally invested\/attached to our mental models, sometimes it is hard and painful to let them go. To learn more about the theory that informs my work, browse through the Talk Shop Library<\/a>, especially this pdf<\/a> document on Gestalts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I believe that we all play different roles in society. Sometimes we play a role during specific times, for example when a doctor is in the hospital she is treating patients, but when she is at home, she may be a mother, a daughter and a wife. Sometimes we play more than one role at the same time. In his 1959 book, The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (goodreads.com<\/a>), Erwing Goffman describes society using the metaphor of the theatre. C.G. Jung borrowed the world Persona<\/a> from theatre, where it was used to describe masks. Yet this metaphor raises an interesting question. Who is the person behind the masks? The actor acting the different social roles we play? The metaphor of the theatre also tells us not to take life too seriously, to take a playful approach (Dr. Mathai Fenn, YouTube) and try out things. Try changing things around. You may find it difficult in the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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