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THE REWRITE

Do the middle-aged men muck up their lives? I mean… make the same mistake again and again? This witty enjoyable rom-com reveals one such fallible creature!

The Rewrite deals with a theme which is in short supply on screen. It is about a man learning to be an adult and in desperate need to take advantage of second chances in life.

A 54 year old Oscar awarded screenwriter now at the low point in his career, is forced to take up a teaching job. “I hate teachers. They’re frustrated losers who haven’t done anything with their own lives, so they want to instruct other people!” he said grudgingly taking up the only job available. Little did he realize that, for all purposes, he is exactly that.

Keith Michaels (Hugh Grant) is waging an inner war with cynicism. The new chapter in Keith’s life could be over before it’s started, because of the awful gaffes he commits.

What if you miss the second chance and no third chances are coming your way? Is there hope?

Keith gradually rediscovers his soul thanks to his students and colleagues. There is one student who sees through him, “You are trying to fill a spiritual vacancy with alcohol and young women!”

The way out is within! Wisdom from the Bible reminds, ” But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it” (Deuteronomy 30:14)

Keith, who’s divorced with an estranged son, will go from bad teacher to revered professor as he bungles his way, finding himself in the process. As he guides his students respectfully helping them to find their unique expressions and blossom, he begins asking right questions to connect with himself, bursting the bubble of mid-life disillusion.

Interestingly the writer’s block in him disappears as he opens up to a new idea to write on himself as a washed-up writer who goes to teach in an out-of-the-way University! Having learnt from his mistakes, Keith is a changed man who does not wear honesty anymore as mere ornament. Connecting with students, colleagues and himself in an authentic way, the valuable relationships bring him more than just a salary and unearned prestige.

The film is in a way about third acts. A must see for both men and women who are going through mid-life transition.

AFTER THOUGHTS

Being one such fallible creature myself, this film provoked in me a soul searching:

Mid-life is the time many undigested experiences – those painful ones which you were not able to handle well in the past – resurface.

Do I take it as failure or a healthy development giving me an opportunity to integrate these disconnected parts of myself?

Most of us do inner work knowingly or unknowingly. That’s what the spiritual path is. “Awareness is the ultimate enzyme that helps us to digest the undigested experiences from the past. It is very much the heart of spiritual path.” says John Welwood who integrated Western Psychology with Eastern Contemplation.

How do I move from the focus on problems to the awareness as the healing agent?

Bandhu Bob

_{http://www.thetalkshop.in/bobby}

“In times of great change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped for a world that no longer exists” Eric Hoffer

We learn by doing. We are all creatures of habit. Habits were taught in the family by mother the first teacher. Then father played his role in reinforcing them and initiated new ones. The significant others came in to add more habits to build up.

Today virtual socialization by streaming images shape young minds and bodies exposed to screen constantly. It is raising questions on education. Ever since the corona virus has sent our habitual world into a stand still, remodeling of education is being taken up in urgency.

Are we too late in addressing the role of schooling, its means and methods?

See The Case Against Outdated School System

Unintended Effect

The summer camp I organized for rural youth at Nagpur back in 1997 had an unintended effect. They had an interesting scouting of the city with cameras, papers, sketch pens etc for mapping the terrain. The youth who came from villages of Chhattisgarh and Jharkhand while interviewing the city dwellers discovered that most of the people never knew that the stinking stagnant big drain in the city of Nagpur was originally a river! They remarked, “We are not sure what kind of water we are drinking !” Many of them wanted to do some quick shopping and get back home to their villages.

The city youth who were voluntary helpers were ashamed that they too were ignorant of the history and geography of their immediate world! The free dental tests given by the medical association made things worse. Dentists exclaimed that most of these rural youth had admirable teeth whereas our city youth had poor dental health! The Gandhian doctor from Wardha nailed it when he addressed the participants of the camp and said, “Most of our schools do not teach the basics of self care!”

Can a doctor be a teacher? At least that’s what happened in my case. Dr T.P. Remesan led me to unlearn some of the old food and sleep habits by which I mistreated my body. He coached me to learn ways of listening and attending to body with reverence. It has not only brought improved health but also set me on a spiritual path of living in harmony with my nearest nature- my body, which Christian religion had failed to teach.

Dr Remesan guided me through a course of discipline- scientifically guided fasting and “nishkriya vyayamam” (non-active exercise)- of 10 days, to get rid of my bronchitis. I bid bye once and for all to the 34 year old ailment in 2011.

Ecological Conversion

Besides good health and change in life style, I gained a precious insight ! Let me put it in the words of Doctor: “Thank your body wisdom! Doctor and medicine do not cure diseases. They may assist you to co-operate with your body’s intelligence. It is your body wisdom that has healed you! Do not come to me again as a patient !!”

I stared at the doctor finding difficult to believe what I heard. He went on: “This is not a clinic or hospital. It is Arogya Vidyalayam – school of health! I’ve trained you to take care of yourself. Continue listening to your body and take care of it“

St Francis of Assisi underwent various conversions in his lifetime till he became the second Christ. One of his last conversions was asking sorry to his body for mistreating it cruelly! (Wikipedia) Ironically I was being initiated to an ecological conversion by an atheist doctor who never heard about Franciscan spirituality!

Though the former pope John Paul II (now a saint) had spoken about Ecological conversion in 2001, it was only in 2015 this became part of official church teaching with Laudato Si (more details here)

A leaf of lesson from Dattaguru

I was fascinated by Dattaguru ever since I came across a Dattatreya temple in Chapora, Goa. Being the embodiment of Brahma, Vishnu and Siva, Dattatreya is the Guru of gurus who lived as a fakir owning nothing but on alms received . In the conversation between King Yadu and Dattatreya found in the eleventh book of Srimad Bhagavatha Mahapurana, Yadu asks: “Why are you happy though you are a beggar?” “I am happy because of what I am, and not because of what I have” “I am a student of nature.”

Imagine the Guru of gurus claiming to be a student! Who were his gurus? The earth, water, air, sun, moon, honey bee, vulture … he lists 24 such gurus! King Yadu was astonished and asked: “What does it mean? What did you learn from them?”

Dattatreya answered: “Earth is my Guru, because I learn the lesson of immense, unlimited and unsurpassed patience from the earth. You may spit on the earth, you may defecate, you may walk with shoes over her or you may kick her. Still, Mother Earth does not complain. How patient is this earth! All the dirt we throw on her face, but still Mother Earth does not complain. How stable she is! I have learnt patience and stability from earth. So earth is my Guru and I am her student.” and thus he goes on to mention the other lessons. (See Wikipedia)

Maybe on this teacher’s day we who pretend to be masters need to humbly ask the corona viruses and other microorganisms, “Be our invisible gurus! Teach us to unlearn habits which do not serve anyone and relearn sane habits to make life better for ourselves , others and all creation!!”

Bandhu Bob

_{http://www.thetalkshop.in/bobby}

^{INTO THE WILD}

A rare film that grabs you at guts. A 20 year old college graduate with good grades gives up his promising career, home, possessions, savings and takes up a journey to spend time in nature, away from the seductions of the modern world!

Why does he disappear abandoning his car, burning his remaining dollar bills, changing his name, leaving no trace for his family to find out his whereabouts? Is it not a reaction against his control freak parents with middle class values?

“There is something more than rebellion more than anger that was driving him,” in the words of his sister Carine who understood Chris’s search.

Sean Penn’s beautiful and spellbinding film is an adaptation of the book Into the Wild by Jon Karkauer based on true life story which took place in 1990s USA.

The film tracks down precious impressions of this odd youth through the narrative reconstructed from the journals, the memories of people who met him during his journey . Besides the captivating photography, powerful performances of those who fed, sheltered, gave him clothes, shared their lives, mentored him, and who respected his quest worrying that his life is doomed, make it a delight to watch.

Robin Sharma in his book Discover your Destiny mentions Living a Lie as the first stage of human self-awakening. It is the lowest level of consciousness we humans operate from- from what we have been told to believe! According to him it is a self-betrayal most people find themselves living in!

Chris wrote in his journal:   No phone, no pool, no pets, no cigarettes. An aesthetic voyageur whose home is the road. Escaped from Atlanta. Thou shall not return… And now after two rambling years comes the final and greatest adventure. The climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild – Alexander Supertramp. May 1992.

Is the director idealizing a clueless cocky kid into a hero? Many critics of the film wrote so. In fact the film does not hesitate to bring out the flaws in Chris. The film portrays Chris’ adventurous journey of self-awakening after leaving the “sick society” in 5 stages : 

Chapter 1. My own birth Chapter 2. Adolescence Chapter 3. Manhood Chapter 4. Family Chapter 5. Getting of Wisdom

Many see the ending as sad. Well, it depends on how you look at death. One can see it as Great Awakening! True, Chris wanted to return inspired by his reading of Tolstoy. He could not due to the floods in the swollen Alaskan rivers of the summer. Indeed the mistaken poisonous roots which he ate made him ill. An encounter with a wild bear which did not attack him indicated that Chris had moved into another state where nature and animals recognize you as harmless and non-violent!

A question from another angle- of those who are parents:  What about his parents and their suffering? In the words of Chris’ sister Carine:

With almost a year having passed since Chris’ disappearance my parents’ anger had turned to desperation. Their guilt was giving way to pain. And pain seemed to bring them closer. Even their faces had changed.

But I catch myself and remember that these are not the parents I grew up with. That people soften by the forced reflection that comes with loss. Still everything Chris is saying has to be said. And I trust that everything he is doing has to be done. This is our life

Chris’ parents were undergoing another journey indeed painful! They too were being prepared to enter a state to see themselves, each other and the world with purified vision!

To understand the psychological process involved I recommend you listen to : _{https://www.resources.soundstrue.com/podcast/john-welwood-healing-the-core-wound-of-the-heart/}

Bandhu Bob http://www.thetalkshop.in/bobby

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_{C:\Users\hp\Pictures\Mandalas for breakfast}

Nutty fruity breakfast !

I have been into raw food diet morning and evening. It has been a whole new way of living energetically giving up on cooked meals.

Collapsing my time schedule combining food preparation and meditation, thanks to the wisdom from Buddhist meditation practice, I gained a life changing insight – do everything mindfully! It has given me taste for everything in life.

Ever since I began this practice I enjoy preparing food consciously feeling the sensations involved in washing, pealing, cutting, inhaling the odour, salivating, patiently arranging them, looking at the various shapes, form, and patterns emerging.

Each time I came upon something wonderful without thinking. planning and organizing. Just spontaneously following your heart, your eyes, your hands and living it fully like a child’s play.

Tremendous joy and contentment even before you take a bite!

Gratitude is filling !!

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Bandhu Bob _{http://www.thetalkshop.in/bobby}

“NO ONE WINS UNLESS EVERYBODY WINS” Bruce Springsteen

• What is the LIGHT – my good idea, my great opinion, my good image, my best belief which I cling to, that BLINDS me from seeing the good in others’ good … ?
• How can I write my stories without missing out on the stories of other hungry hearts?

The movie based on the memoir of a journalist Manzoor Sarfraz, GREETINGS FROM BURY PARK will help you answer these questions

The film tells the story of a teenager from an immigrant family trying to cope up with – recession, racism, unemployment in the Thatcher-era Britain of 1987.

Introduced by his Sikh classmate to the songs of Bruce Springsteen, Javed discovers in them a map to navigate through the racial intolerance, political unrest and the family conflicts, to “all that is true in this shitty world” and finds his vocation as a writer.

The lyrics of Bruce infuse courage and confidence in the young man and guide him through the twists and turns of his life journey.

https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=blinded+by+the+light+film&form=HDRSC2&first=1&scenario=ImageBasicHover

Interlaced with 17 songs of Bruce, the film is a musical roller coaster. The words of the working class poet from America, inspires the troubled adolescent to rise above the burdens of life and make his own unique voice heard breaking free from the expectations and pressures from- family, friends, society and religion.

With words of “The Boss” as compass, Javed is led to life-altering meetings with Ms Clay the teacher who unearth his writing talent, Mr Brydon his friend’s dad who gave him part time job, Eliza the activist girl friend , and Mr Evans the silent supporting neighbour. All of them encourage his search for authentic self-expression.

Sailing the sea of storms, Javed stands up at school which honored him for his writing, and confesses: I was blinded by the light !! I was only thinking of Springsteen and myself …… We are all not just individuals. We have friends and family and what they think matter. Success without them isn’t really success. That insight was churned out of his own big battle within! “No one wins unless everybody wins” Javed recalls the words Bruce _.

Having hated and broken away from his bossy dad whom he could not forgive, a realization dawns on Javed : I can see how much I am like my dad and dad is like me !! To tell it loud in front of dad, family, friends and teachers gathered together in public… , the boy has come a long way to be a man!!!

Eliza his girl friend whom he wanted to leave, had played her part in bringing Javed to this point of reconciliation. When he apologizes to her, she reminds him Bruce’s words, “Like a river which does not know where it’s flowing, you took a wrong turn and just kept going. Everyone’s got a hungry heart ”

To Javed’s surprise his dad has begun liking Bruce’s songs and values! He cites few lines on ‘hard work, never giving up and respect for parents’ and jokes that Bruce must be a Pakistani! His dad pleads, “Son, write your stories ! Don’t forget ours !!” and embraces him.

Even parents grow when children mature! Interestingly the last scene in the film indicates such a transfornation in Javed’s dad who hands over the driving seat to his son getting ready to pursue his study of journalism. His dad gracefully changes his favorite old hindi song in the deck to play Bruce’s song in the interest of Javed as they travel together.

_{(You Tube: 1 min 39 sec)}

When Camera Replaced Rifle!

Marveled at his exhibits , I asked: “How do you find time for all these?”

“Well …. when camera replaced gun, I found freedom, purpose and happiness”

Listening with your eyes opens a space of infinity within us! The sense of wonder that follows it, leads us from the short-lived thrill of killing and consuming to a lasting joy in caring.

My friend confessed that the peace he received from being in nature and taking those pictures were more prayerful than going to worship in temples and churches.

I nodded. Surprised that I agreed, he looked at me questioningly.

I recalled sharing my own struggle to pray years ago, with my spiritual guide. Thanks to his encouragement, I found ways of meditating departing from the tiresome church practices. In fact the gospels mention Jesus praying in nature – riverbanks, desert, hills, open spaces, gardens and lakeside. 

By the pondside of Fenn Hall listening with my eyes, I turned to see a world in a drop of water and a heaven in a bud of lotus; hold infinity inside my heart and eternity in a minute (rephrasing William Blake’s poem) .

Hope the pictures posted below will transmit at least a fraction of that experience.

Bandhu Bob http://www.thetalkshop.in/bobby

Four more days to go before independence day (August 15), and it got me thinking… What is independence? Was it just political freedom from the colonists? Or does it mean something else? The freedom to do whatever I want? What about constraints? If I jump off a cliff in order to fly, without the proper gear, I will soon but very briefly learn about a constraint called gravity.

If the idea of inner freedom appeals to you, I would suggest my course, Siddhartha ( www.walkright.in ) as a good starting point.

Read the Uttarpara Speech here. https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Uttarpara_Speech

Join Mathai Fenn (PhD) for a 12-week journey through the intellectual landscape of India. Explore the reasons that has made India the destination for so many generations of people who have felt that there must be more to life than meets the eye.

“Three years ago, I was Siddhartha the Brahman’s son who left his home to become a sadhu. However that was yesterday, today I have entered a new path, that leads to your garden……”

Siddhartha – Hermann Hesse

Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha is a novel about the seeker ( Click here for book summary at SparkNotes). According to Indian Philosophy, the purpose of our human life is to find ourselves, our own true nature, true self, our soul. Everything else is temporary. The search for our true self is simultaneously the search for God. Only an outsider can describe this quintessential aspect of Indian culture. Although Hesse was German-Swiss, his grandfather, Hermann Gundert had spent many years in India and was the force behind translating the Bible to Malayalam, the language of the state of Kerala in India.

Your guide, Dr Mathai Fenn holds a PhD in Psychology and a life long interest in the spiritual and philosophical schools of India. Born to a family of Practicing Christians in a country where Christians were a minority of less than 5%, his passion lies in introducing Indian Philosophy to beginners. This includes non-indians who are curious to know about Indian Philosophy as well as ethnic Indians who do not feel connected to their own spritiual and intellectual roots.

Every day, a reading from the Siddharta is followed by a discussion of its context. The first paragraph of the book reads ….

“In the shade of the house, in the sunshine of the riverbank near the boats, in the shade of the Sal-wood forest, in the shade of the fig tree is where Siddhartha grew up, the handsome son of the Brahman, the young falcon, together with his friend Govinda, son of a Brahman. The sun tanned his light shoulders by the banks of the river when bathing, performing the sacred ablutions, the sacred offerings. In the mango grove, shade poured into his black eyes, when playing as a boy, when his mother sang, when the sacred offerings were made, when his father, the scholar, taught him, when the wise men talked. For a long time, Siddhartha had been partaking in the discussions of the wise men, practising debate with Govinda, practising with Govinda the art of reflection, the service of meditation. He already knew how to speak the Om silently, the word of words, to speak it silently into himself while inhaling, to speak it silently out of himself while exhaling, with all the concentration of his soul, the forehead surrounded by the glow of the clear-thinking spirit. He already knew to feel Atman in the depths of his being, indestructible, one with the universe.”

While this is a good description of many villages in India until a few years ago, it also speaks of the nature of the Awakening. Although the paragraph depicts an idyllic setting, Siddhartha finds something missing. Popular accounts would blame technology or at least materialism. But it was not materialism that made Siddhartha restless. Indeed he already had the basic training in spiritual exercises from his family of priests. Sacred chants and hymns were as much a part of his life as was the river, the sun and the mango trees, yet he is not satisfied. Do you hear The Call?

To find out when the course is running next and to pre-register, click here.

The single most important course of loss of productivity is Ethics in a world where familiar markers of behaviour have been demolished by fast-paced social change (Durkheim). When faced with an important decision, people find it hard to choose one over the other. This leads to a paralysis brought about by what Søren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) calls Anxiety (Wikipedia). Unfortunately, all of social science and management will only be of help to us implement the choice once it is made, but they offer little help in making the choice. So how do we know which is the best right way forward? The biggest tragedy is the tragedy of numbers. Saying that “….when faced with such choices 90% of the people chose the left option.” Does not automatically make it the right choice. Simply put, knowing what IS the case so far does not automatically tell us what OUGHT to be (Davide Hume).

Our Inner Kompass

At a time when the very fabric of society is changing so deeply and so fast, we can no longer depend on maps to help us navigate the 21st century. After all, by the time we reach a particular point, it would have changed too much. According to the former Director of MIT Media Labs, Joi Ito, what we need is a compass and not a map.

1. The first step of acquiring an Inner Kompass is to discover how our values influence our behaviour, not in an abstract way, but through the realization that when we choose coffee over tea, its because for some reason we value coffee more.
2. The second step is to recognize the distinction between Wants and Needs. While being thirsty may refer to a need, I may experience it as I want a coke. Unfortunately, we don’t always recognize the distinction between the two. This makes us think that we need a coke.
3. Once we have achieved this conceptual distinction, we engage in the WORK of teasing apart the needs from the wants. For this process, we will appropriate the term Deconstruction from Jacques Derrida (It’s an appropriation because we are using the word in a new, although related, context from what Derrida used it.). This is achieved through the application of mindfulness.
4. This WORK shows us how we have constructed our way of looking at the world and our way of responding to it based on culture and past experiences. Such constructions. called Gestalts, are not easy to deconstruct and during the work of deconstruction, one may experience what the Psychoanalysts call Resistance and when one gains the insight that there may be other ways of achieving the same thing, it may be accompanied with a Catharsis, a release of energy.
5. But the aim of WORK is to increase a sense of freedom and to give the person a greater range of choices to choose from and an experience of freedom. The person is encouraged to make conscious choices about life, each time a choice is made it strengthens the connections between values and actions. Making value-based choices is like exercising a muscle it makes you stronger.
6. The WORK of Deconstruction happens in a conversational space (discursive space) where you can talk about anything. This is made possible because of a shared contract where both parties understand the rules of engagement. They are not set in stone but its often helpful to start with an explicitly stated code.

Driving a car is an interesting complex exercise. It is a complex exercise since the driver has to know the pedals, gears, and steering which is what he uses to control the machine on the basis of feedback he gets about road conditions, obstructions, and other visual information. He also has to keep in mind the laws of driving including speed limits etc. (click here to see how traffic rules evolved, youtube: 05:14). That’s a lot of information to process simultaneously. When a novice learns to drive, he has to keep track of all of this information consciously, and just thinking about it all may lead to a nervous breakdown. But soon driving becomes automatic and subconscious (in the sense that it does not require us to pay attention to it), leaving our conscious mind free to engage in conversation or to listen to the radio.

Daniel Kahneman calls this Thinking Fast and Thinking Slow (read more about it on Scientific American). I prefer to call it conscious and subconscious thinking, although the words often carry the baggage of Freudian Psychoanalysis with them. Once driving becomes a subconscious activity, it is interesting how we process multiple streams of information simultaneously. It would seem that while we can consciously learn how to drive, driving becomes safe and effortless only when we allow it to sink into the subconscious level.

Perhaps it would be interesting to launch an inquiry into the activities that we do subconsciously. Collectively we can call it The Subconscious Mind or merely The Subconscious. In perception, we focus our attention on the foreground while the background is still an important part of the perceptual whole. An important part of driving subconsciously requires listening to the hum of the car, its the sum total of noises made by the engine, vibration of the car and noise the tyres make on the road. A good driver instantly knows when the sound is not what he expects to hear. It will ring an alarm bell. He may know that something is wrong but not exactly what it is. To get that, he may have to bring back conscious processing to eliminate the possible causes one by one.

There is a lot we can learn about life from driving, especially about listening to the Hum of Life. Everything we actually do or experience in life is a “figure” seen against a “ground“. But the ground is not something we are conscious of, and if the hum is not right, our experience of life is not the best, or worse it may come to a halt. The mistake we do is to try to fix problems by changing the figure (the things we do or thoughts we think), when the problem lies in the (back)ground.

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Gestalt Psychologists like to talk about the figure-ground effect (Wikipedia). When images are created with the intention of befuddling the brain, they are easy to spot. But when we are lying on our backs watching the clouds go by, we cannot help but wonder how much of what we see is actually there and how much do we make up? The figure-ground effect is not limited to the image on the left, all perception is against a (back) ground.

Perception is a good example. How much of what we see is determined by our subconscious? Just how much of our problems come from the way we frame things? Despite trying everything you know, have you ever felt that nothing is working out? Perhaps its time to change the way you see the problem. This means changing the frame. Clearly, the subconscious is not just either there nor not there. There are layers to explore starting with the frame that immediately surrounds the thought or image.

If we correct the background hum of life, much of the foreground will fix itself.

The Talk Shop course on the SELF is a good place to start in understanding the Figure and Ground of life. Read more about it here.